Yahweh...

This week was rather heart-wrenching. As we pursued the topic of "unity", each person seemed to walk away feeling like we have a ways to go in order to attain this Biblical unity. We explored the relationships that we have and are just beginning. I am afraid my life will continually consist of people sharing information with me and following, I will feel as if I have lived a lie for the previous twenty years. Allow me to explain a couple tidbits...

Independence: This is something I have viewed as strength, wisdom and of the utmost importance. Lie number one is revealed. Our society has been feeding me these lies, and let me tell you, I have been chewing on them for years and years. I was awakened to hear that me pulling away, wanting to complete tasks on my own were destroying unity. I have thought it to be efficient to complete jobs on my own, but was reminded there is power in works being completed as a family. So although it may not be quick, it is against the ways of the enemy...revelation...convicting...Another note on this, alone time. Let me direct our attention to Genesis 2:18, "it is not good for man to be alone..." This shook me, not only is it not a good thing for me to be alone because I wasn't created this way, I don't have a right to it. I catch myself saying "I just want to be alone", "I just need God and me time", "If I could just find a few moments...", when really, this is part of taking up my cross, letting go of myself, I do not have any right to have alone time.

Sharing Burdens: I have consistently viewed this as weakness. As Colleen shared with us, again I felt convicted. By me, holding onto whatever it is I am gripping, I am not allowing others in, therefore slowing down any chance of people getting to know me, therefore not letting them feel like they can open up to me...viscious cycle. I found this well illustrated in a quote;

"You will ever understand the other person unless they reveal themself to you. They will never reveal themself to you unless they trust you, They will never trust you until they know you. They will never know you until you reveal yourself to them." -Tom Marshall

I think this is part of being weak so God can be strong.

In all of this, I am compelled to fall on my face. In all my shortcomings, God is wooing me. He has bestowed hope within me. He wants to change the world with me. God's character is beaming through all the darkness. I have messed up with friends, he brings hope. I have broken communication, he gives hope. I have hindered unity, he is offering even more hope.

His glory cannot possibly be contained. The mountains will bow at his feet. The oceans will roar. My friends, I have fallen deeply in love with My Lord.