a long time coming.

i can't tell you how many time i have written about two sentences on my blog and then gotten distracted by a skype conversation, a facebook post or an email and then before i know it my internet time is finished and another week has passed without an update.
its embarassing, really.

so let's have a fresh start, shall we?

week 10 in india has finished. and now we begin advent! so looking forward to the christmas season that refocuses why in the world we are doing and living life the way we are! how absurd that G*od entrusted a virgin teenager to carry his son into the world...had anything gone wrong...the absolute trust and risk he took with humankind, it excited me and makes me feel even more in reverence to his nature and character.

yesterday we went to a missionary couples house to celebrate thanksgiving. they have three children and the fourth is due in february-an immediate draw for a bunch of birth attendants. all week we have been scheming and shopping and prepping and the day was not a let-down...so fantastic. at one point we busted out the guitar for some wor*ship and started pra*ying and worsh*ipping...during "you won't relent" the muslim call to prayer sounded in the background and was immediately drowned out by the voices of many nations singing together in unity. powerful.

the weeks have been packed full of babies, paperwork, meetings and late nights where i am the first to bed. i have become accustomed to a sleeping mask...i never thought i would...living in community does funny things to you.

a little testimony from last week for you all...Marchien pr*ayed with some students earlier this week that we would meet women from previous years and reconnect with them. We have really been pressing in for eva*ngelism and more opportunities to lead people to the Lo*rd and then that came up in pra*yer...and no sooner had we pra*yed then we met Fatuma. As she struggled through her contractions she told us how "fia from canada" had helped her last time with her delivery. Incredible! fia was one of my students from two years ago. We rejoiced at the answered pra*yer. She comes from a muslim family and is so open to the gospel. This Wednesday we will go visit her at her house.

Bless you guys. thanks for reading. hopefully we will do this again soon?

arrived and well.

flashback to childhood:
"where are we going?"
(sigh from the front seat, mom's patient reply comes shortly)
"this way, follow me."

i helped direct the massive vehicle, while everyone patiently "followed" in bags stacked up to their ears. the hostel was prepared for us...i was shockingly surprised as miscommunication runs rampant in this land. i like surprises. 2 rooms of at least 10 beds and one room for our couple. to top off the room preparation, they even had a small meal of bread and jam, with a cameo appearance of cockroaches. would it be india without the creatures? it was a good night. smooth traveling. we were even 26 kilos under our weight allowance and we packed more gloves than any school previous.

this morning we encouraged sleeping in and mosey-ing around. i took the girls to exchange money and showed them where to buy the essentials: a bucket for showering and hide and seek chocolate chip biscuits.

i am surprised by the few faces already that i have run into that remember me. i wish i could remember their names...wait, did i ever know their names? probably laxmi.

tonight we will enter the masses of punjabi possibilities while shopping together as a mob of light faces.

this morning i read through ephe*sians. good book.

bless you guys.

onward we move.

bas saw $148,000 AUD provided in order to be trained, serve and take the good news to the nations...here we are laying over in dubai just a couple hours from our destination.

i sat next to some sweaty architectural animators on the flight from perth. sitting here reflecting on the conversation i am reminded again of how much i censor talking about jes*us. its ridiculous. i used the excuse of being tired and before i knew it i dozed off and was asleep. when i was getting off the plane i realized that i missed my moment, again.

from here on out, i have got to change this.

a couple of the girls are playing dutch blitz. they are drawing the indian crowds already, and we aren't even in india. time to grow accustomed to the unexplained stares.

here's to the first of many from outreach.

bless you.

india, here i come...

ready or not. our team is on its way. and i can't wait.
so much need in india...G*d's kingdom is yearning to come and I am a bringer of it.

from week 1 to week 10

oh blog how i have neglected thee.

life as a school leader has brought my capacity of carrying responsibilities to new levels...
yet i see myself neglecting other areas...i don't blog as regularly...i am slower to respond to email...i sleep less.
i feel so grateful to be entrusted with what God has given me-the opportunity to disciple in inter*cession, worship, finances, Fear of the L*ord...

in three weeks i will be taking off for india. hard to believe right now. there is still so much more to happen before that time! one thing being: our school needs $30,000, more teaching to be taught, more evang*elism to be done...

getting huge revelations on the need to speak more about Je*sus. HE IS THE ANSWER for all the horrible happenings in the news: famine, war, disaster...HE IS THE ANSWER.
I HAVE THE ANSWER.
goal: open my mouth. people want to hear about je*sus.

first week.

i just brought my clothes in from the outside line. they are nearly frozen. it is winter in australia.

it is the start of week two on the birth attendant school 2011. the week was full of "getting to know you conversations", lots of hot drinks and me/sarah running around trying to figure out what in the world we were doing. i still feel a little bit like "what am i doing?" but G*od has been is so trustworthy. he has been speaking to me in the confused moments. sarah and i were looking at the loaves and fish this morning and the disciples just keep going back to J*esus, asking him "now what?". so here is what i'm thinking, if i keep going back to him, i am going to get an answer and next step.

i'm thinking back to last sunday's conversations with the girls and thinking about todays conversations with the girls...it is so impressive how J*esus has brought us together already.

in other news, i am peeling, and it is depressing to think that my tan is only going to fade from here on out.

here is to another week :)

culture shock

lesson learned- the attention span of our generation is that of a facebook page loading.

case and point: molly's graduation-the row in front of us contained 5 friends sitting next to each other all playing a game that resembled "bejeweled" (but i'm sure it has a new and cooler name, considering that is what i remember my mom being moderately addicted to for a brief phase more than 5 years ago and i seem to be "out of the loop" these days). but wait, one of the committed players can't be bothered by the dean's boring speech, nor the game in front of her and decides to take a snooze. her neighbor witnesses the z's being exhibited and captures the moment and immediately uploads the hard evidence onto facebook. all the competitors/friends down the line are notified of their snoozing friend by the ever distracting red 1 and confirm it by actually leaning down the line-breaking eye contact with their phone-and immediately state their feelings by commenting on the photo. when sleepy eyes wakes up, she realizes she has been exposed, not just to the row and those within staring distance, but to the whole social network of facebook.

i thought to myself...wow, we are creating a socially awkward generation that will never again be able to interact face to face-unless you count taking a picture and commenting on it as face to face interaction. this is my generation...just before i can complete this thought...the man in front of droopy eyes is updating his status, he had to be atleast 60.

what is happening to the world (she says as she posts this on the internet for any and all to read)?

june 14th

just a reminder...

Tuesday, 7pm, Dinneen House...
dessert and movie. "a walk to beautiful" (a change because of availability)
a time to hang out and be together.

welcome all.

past, present and future.

when i came to the birth attendant school three years ago my sister was freshly married, i was 19 and my brother had just finished his freshman year of high school. claire and elsie, my nieces were 2.5 and barely could talk.

today i live in a house with 7 people from 5 countries, my eyes have welcomed a border of wrinkles and i have shed that awkward puberty weight that i first came to australia with. several dear friends are great with child, my nieces can figure out quicker airplane routes than the airlines i take, most of my friends from church/school have started or are anticipating starting their lives with significant others. i am a different person now and so is everyone else.

i started thinking about all these changes when i made this movie for my brother last night. it was supposed to be something to encourage and reflect on his life because he is graduating this year. this got me on this path of trying to conjure all that has transpired in the last three years and in pat's whole life. it made my head hurt. you know, my brother is the exact same age as Andy in Toy Story 3...october of last year i was flying and i started sobbing whilst watching Andy pack up his room-all the sudden it clicked, that could be Pat!

here is what i think, this is a reality of life. things CHANGE. hair colours change, speaking of which, i am the proud owner of yellow hair currently. people get married. babies are born. pat is going to have girlfriends. i started liking onions and chili.
so, i need to learn to embrace it and not hate it.
and isn't this the beauty of it all. people move on and do bigger and better things.

on friday i said good bye to my dear friend and mentor, Hollie. She trained me to be a midwife. Her family is moving to the east coast to start a new chapter.
over the course of Fri-Mon I said goodbye to 14 students of the BAS 2010.
tomorrow i will take a dear family to the airport as they continue on with vision G*od has given them for Burma.

we can't stay in the same spot, we have to keep moving forward--
sometimes that is a physical move or just a mental shift.

if this is the life my G*od has called me into, he is going to equip me to graciously grasp the changes.
so i embark on embracing.

it's the end of the year as i know it.

i am coming to the end of the farewells here. the students walked across the floor, received their certificates, i got my license, drove several to the airport and now i am winding down starting to process...what in the world just happened.

hot water comes out of the taps now, the washing machine is my new best friend and i can eat most anything i crave whenever i want. part of me despises this because the reality of western living shocks my system and tells me its time to transition.

one of the students thanked me this week for being gracious with her when she did things the wrong way in the hospital or when i spoke into her life on a discipleship level. i felt seen when she said that to me.

yesterday, during a public event, i walked over to get a cup of tea and met one of my students who was also getting a cuppa. she said to me "are you going to the hospital?" and then we laughed hysterically as we both knew she meant to say "airport" instead of "hospital". after we wound down i smiled and thought about how i won't be going to the hospital for a while and felt a little melancholy. i think though as i write this, i need time to process. i need time to just be.

i have tried...

to post a couple times this week. and i hit this wall. donald miller would tell me that all writers face that and that is what it means to be a writer, you make yourself write. maybe that is why so many people do it part time. don also gets sick of writing about himself. i feel like i am tired of writing my story too, perhaps I should start doing random profiles on my friends to spice things up.

This week is report back, that means we recap over the last eleven months on what we have seen G*od do. I think everyone should do this-not only those who have been catching babies in other nations. You can never underestimate the power of sitting and talking to another person, praying together, admitting we went wrong, making a game plan for what's next and how we are going to do it with G*od.
Here is some of where I have ended up...
HOPE. Always.
G*od freely gives his perspective when we are in awful situations.
We don't always like the system, but look at the fruit because it has been in place.
I am constantly given the opportunity to take the wide or the narrow.
Am I choosing G*od?

There is much more and I need to think more and talk more and WRITE more...
for now there are 15 students flying out on 15 different planes over 3 days.
I am working on getting my Australian license this week to help with the airport runs, its about time.

Bless you guys, thanks for the read. Hoping this will become a bit more regular.

a little diddy

a little something from my good friend, chantal anderson. check out her work.

http://clpmag.org/article.php?article=How-to-Deliver-a-Baby-without-a-Doctor_00283

this is what i came for.

this week an exciting discovery was made. the dear chantal anderson from seattle made friends (are we surprised?) with a man who owns a copy shop and also has dial up speed internet. eeeek. so today, i came to right you all a little update about life here in desh.

we arrived here on the 20th of march and stayed in the capital city for two days. we made a nine hour journey out to a village to be greeted by innumerable sets of staring eyes (later we found that it has been 10 years since foreigners have set foot in this village). a chipper midwife from england, we will call her "sister", has lived here since 1968, and helped us make contact with this untouched land. she made arrangements for us to stay at the hospital. so currently, we live about a two minute walk from the front door of bollophur hospital. there are 98 nursing students who have welcomed us with curious looks and open arms. our house is the new "cool" hangout. luckily i have more than 100 friends who will come at the drop of a hat when i fail to light the fire once again for making dinner for the team.

the dynamic of this location means that small teams go out for a week or a day at a time and then we reunite once a week as a whole group. it has come with its challenges but also with its blessings. this week a small team of 2 students midwives were able to travel to three villages and do satellite antenatal clinics for women who wouldn't usually have the chance to get ANC. they also were able to minister hope to a woman whose daughter committed suicide 2 years ago. poisioning with insecticides is a common occurance, three times this week at the hospital, patients came in who had poisoned themselves. it seems there is an underlying sense of unhappiness-caused by poverty, arranged marriages and more that drives people to do this. all the more reason to talk about J*sus.

i have been challenged and pushed to see G*d more while leading this team alone. G*d is the source of every good thing, and I want to give tes*imony to the fact that he has continued to lead and guide me in leading our team. We miss the team in India, but facebook and text messages are keeping us connected.

just a small update, thanks for all the support and pr*yers. i have felt them so much this week especially.

i went to kenya!

and boy did we see victory. we needed visas for Bangladesh. I tell you what, when you want to see victory, go to a foreign visa office and ask G*d to do it for you and he shows up.

on our journey, i was able to share hope in G*d several times, long bus rides are awesome. East africans are so sick of corruption. It happens right in front of you, the government repossessing vehicles without good reason, prostitutes paying the police off with their evening earnings...the list goes on. so, what is the answer to this? millions of aid has been poured into africa, and what is changing? nothing. churches are everywhere, and people fill them multiple times a week. so what is it?
The kingdom of G*d has not yet come here. We need to see movement from heaven to earth. A kingdom not of words, but of power.

I believe Kenya needs to go back to the principles of the B*ble and they will see change. In the 70s, Kenya and South Korea were neck and neck economically. Kenya remains in the same place while S. Korea has blasted forward. So what is different? S. Korea who had shunned the g*spel for years and years allowed the church to come in, the underground church had developed perseverance and was ready to speak up, people came back to the L*rd. Their lives CHANGED, they followed the principles of J*sus with obedience, they devoted themselves to prayer and intercession and God blessed that.

So, this is the answer we need to be diligent in our walks with G*d, seriously allowing the transforming of our minds to happen, welcome discipleship, believe for miracles, believe that heaven will come to earth.

that's a bit of a rant.

okay, bless you wonderful people. i love this land. thanks for keeping up with the posts even though they have been few and far between.

hang in there...

hmm, i am having difficulties with my monthly updates, i apologize. stick with me... for now, i will have to figure something out but will keep posting here in the meantime. cheers!

more than a month into it...

and I find myself imagining being in africa long term. this is where i love to be.
enough about the future, how about the present?

each year G*od brings me back to his character. in seeing life, death and everything else in between, i have to ask difficult questions, and now even process these difficult questions with students. death doesn't get easier as you experience it more... i think it could because we have the choice to stay soft or get hard.

there have been moments of hardening, and these moments distance me from the heart of a G*od who feels the pain of his people every moment of every day. it seems so much easier in the moment to not feel and get hard, but down the track i have realized that i miss out on the impartation of his heart-a heart of compassion, one that desires long term change, a heart that is also yearning for the kingdom of light...

we had one maternal death last week due to eclampsia, a condition unique to pregnancy, characterized by convulsions, high BP and proteinuria. we had another mother die this week. and we have had too many fetal deaths to count. but both last week and this week, a baby raised from the dead. in the midst of death, i have to cling on to the giver of life, whose heart is for life, abundantly. whose heart is that no longer would an infant live but a few days, the man who lives to be 100 hundred would be thought of as a mere youth, that women will not labour in vain. his heart is to give life and life abundantly even when an enemy seeks to kill and destroy.

draw near my friends, as we draw near to him, he is there to meet us.

i tried uploading photos, no luck. maybe next time. bless you guys, thanks for reading.

i have arrived back to tanzania.

and this land greets me with its warm breeze, magnificent palm trees and deep sandy footpaths.

the staff have crossed over in a hurry, my skin has become accustomed to sweaty situations and a huge pile of washing awaits me.

adjustments have been made and i am back in my element of high intensity situations that occur on a daily basis at the hospital, i love it, absolutely. my Swahili is weak but finding its superiority to english. and my desire to shave my head grows daily...its just so...practical.

one day this week, there were two deliveries with cord twice around the neck and one more with cord three times around the neck...all screamed shortly after delivery.

this week, two deliveries where the babies were born with no heartbeat but were screaming within 15 minutes.

i give you glory G*d because my human hands are not powerful. it is the power of Ch*ist in us.