how do i get there?

feeling a bit funny tonight, almost giddy.

lately though, i have been thinking, what once filled my days was creating a schedule that 18 people's "live depended on", or walking a student through a difficult delivery that resulted in a way neither of us had ever hoped for or chatting when someone feels like they just have not been hearing from God...and now...it looks a tad bit different...
so where do you go with it? having been asked a couple of times...what are you doing now? has brought me down this road of...
am i still the same person if i am in the off season?
this issue of WHO AM I?
i am just one voice of a resounding choir humming this same tune.

i am not at identity crisis phase...but i ask this age old question recognizing that until we know the answer...we seem to wrestle with different branches of this nasty root of confusion. jesus knew where he came from, where he was and where he was going...
he knew himself.
i think i get this weird fear of becoming super insular and i digress from learning my own patterns.
but then knowing my identity relates to how i love others, because we are to love others as we love our self...and do we really love unless we KNOW. hmm not sure.
and how much more confidently can i give when i know myself... its like, i don't need anymore of me because i know myself, and i know i don't need anymore- so i can give that much away...

thoughtful.
so, who am i?

discovering.